Somehow it happens that I fix one small thing for someone in my family, and then all their friends and their friend's friends suddenly are phoning me at 2:34am for support of a million computer problems and obviously no one is looking to pay for this.

Are there any tips to prevent becoming the neighborhoods local IT support desk other than buying enough shirts that I have a clean one for each day of the week.

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Community wiki please. – Jon Hopkins Jul 21 '09 at 12:42
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Wiki wiki wiki wiki – Stefan Thyberg Jul 21 '09 at 12:43
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Seems like 90% of the questions on Superuser are wiki... I don't know why this calls for a wiki, it is a pretty straight up question and will have one answer that the questioner will choose. – James McMahon Jul 21 '09 at 13:38
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If it wasn't CW, you'd have to pick the best answer. Querying for tips implies that none are The Best. – J. Polfer Jul 21 '09 at 22:24
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Fry one family member's computer as a sacrifice. – Nosredna Jul 26 '09 at 23:24
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closed as not constructive by slhck, random Aug 11 '11 at 14:20

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23 Answers

Simple enough: don't do it without getting paid. If you do it for free because you're a nice guy (or your in-laws needed help), make sure you tell them that you normally charge a certain rate and you did them a favor. In turn, when they tell their friends about your skills, they will mention your going rate.

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That's how I do it to. I help my parents and my girlfriend, but anyone else, I charge them for the work. It doesn't need to be much, but then they might try to fix it themselves before calling you. – Torandi Jul 21 '09 at 12:50
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@Torandi: ...which is not always a good thing either... – Oliver Giesen Jul 21 '09 at 14:25
simple supply and demand, keep raising your rate until you only have the number of people you are willing to support. Raise it high enough and you'll get to 0. also nice to have a younger person who is interested in fixing computers and refer everyone to them. I've seen businesses get started this way. – jhayes Jul 21 '09 at 21:50
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Either that, or do it for food. I have gotten many awesome homemade meals (these are quite welcome when one is single). I've been able to visit with friends, eat a near-gourmet dinner, and then figure out why their Vista machine won't hibernate. Works for me! – J. Polfer Jul 21 '09 at 22:23
I just wanted to answer this question like this : ask for money. Some will ignore you, some will pay you. Either way it is good. As sheepsimulator says, yoy can get paid alternatively. My ex girlfriend used to do a premium blowjob for a rogue application uninstall. – Andrei Rinea Dec 9 '09 at 0:08
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enter image description here

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haha I was just thinking of adding this – Babu Aug 24 '09 at 16:21
xkcd is always so timely. – DisgruntledGoat Aug 26 '09 at 14:00
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Bad flowchart. There shouldn't be a fail path that doesn't go through the google box. – Loren Pechtel Sep 26 '09 at 3:16
HUGE +1 for xkcd. I had this on my wall at my old job. – JamesBarnett Jan 17 '11 at 21:39
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Question shouldn't be "what can i do to stop them" but rather, what can i gain in connections / building up relationships to family / friends / others?

Computers and the internet are scary and unknown to many people, so if you have the time, what harm can it do to help out a little. On the other hand, you obviously have to set your limits and say no when you don't have the time / capacity.

It's the same as if you have a lawyer-friend or doctor-friend and have a dilemma. Aren't they the first person you go to for initial guidance? You'll probably end up regretting that you didn't help out earlier, when they tell you to "bugger off" ;)

Balance is the key! :D

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This assumes that the poster is interested in doing this kind of work in exchange for something (money, connections, favors, etc). The wording suggests that they are not. – esm Jul 21 '09 at 17:21
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Don't do it in the first place. Really. If you begin to do support you will be called again and again.

I do support for my parents, my girlfriend and my girlfriends parent. If anyone other asks me something I say them "Sorry, no idea". Nice side effect: They think you are not good at computers and you don't have to do tech talks on every party.

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Pretty much what I do. When asked what I do I'm suitably vague but stress that I program computers. Seems to have done the trick. Well it's either that or my general demeanour :) – ChrisF Jul 21 '09 at 12:44
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My short temper and unhelpful attitude usually do the job.

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I always tell people that I can't help them with Windows problems. If they had a Linux problem I'd be happy to help, but I don't use Windows, so I don't know much about it :-)

Of course that's a complete lie, but it's always worked so far :-)

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lol or "Sorry, I only work on mainframes." – Craig Jul 21 '09 at 16:45
Sometimes it's not a lie. :) – voyager Jul 21 '09 at 22:24
I tend to do this one, too, although I actually say I don't have XP or Vista. My (ex)wife didn't like this as she liked Vista, until it didn't work, and I wasn't good at supporting it. Eventually she had to sort out whether she wanted to go back to XP which ran better on that PC, or stay with Vista and my poor support. – staticsan Jul 27 '09 at 3:08
If I don't want to help somebody, I'll use this excuse. "Sorry, I'm really more of a linux guy"/"Sorry, I haven't used linux in years"/"I don't know a damn thing about OS X". Only the last is truthful. – Phoshi Aug 24 '09 at 15:11
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Don't use windows. Once you've forgotten how to do (even basic) stuff on windows you'll be pretty useless to most people.

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Don't be afraid to say NO.

I say it less often to my immediate family, but I make it clear when we've reached the limit of my normal duties. I'm the most knowledgeable IT guy in the family, but I don't do tech support for a living. At some point, they need to take the machine to an expert.

At work, I'm a tech manager and programmer. I'm paid to do that, not tech support. Push back on management to get them to have an IT person around to do these tasks.

Another technique to discourage people from asking stupid questions is to use Let Me Google That For You. It's pleasantly effective.

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+1 for "let me google that for you" – JamesBarnett Jan 17 '11 at 21:36
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My advice is:

1 - Don't be a grouch, help where/when you can, you may need a favour in return one day. Try being helpful with a focus on teaching wider ideas or principles. You know what they say about "Give a man a fish..."

2 - Know where to draw the line. This will be different for different people. I tend to be more helpful toward people that are nice (see 1). Most people know when they are crossing the line or asking too much of your time. Don't be afraid to say no or give clear reasons why you are not going to help - no point hiding behind excuses.

3 - Be aware of other solutions that may help the person in the long run so they aren't dependent on you/others. For some people it could be an evening-class on basic computer literacy, a club or a book. For some it might be "just get a mac". For some people it might be "just get a mac, with their phone support/training plan" etc. Obviously other platforms may be equally right for the user (i.e. simple linux netbook).

4 - Don't make things worse. I think secretly some geeks/superusers get off on being a 'know-it-all'. They like the power/prestige associated over having skills others don't. Equally I have seen situations where a 'friend who knows about computers' has screwed up someones system or workflow because they didn't really know what they were doing. Be aware of your limitations and be able to admit them. No shame in saying "I don't know, maybe this needs to be looked at by a professional".

--

dp

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Tell them you always ask for information on superuser.com

It seems to work for me ;-)

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As long as they know the beta access password. – Travis Jul 21 '09 at 14:42
Well I give them a private beta on my laptop, next time they need me it's probably launched anyway ;-) – Ivo Flipse Jul 21 '09 at 17:49
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In cases where the request is in form "Can you help me with my computer?", not "Fix my computer. Right now." this might work:

Make them fix the problem. Don't touch the keyboard or mouse yourself. Don't answer questions directly, always answer with a question. "Well, why do you think it does that?" ... "Uh-huh, well, how would you attempt to fix it?". Prevent them from doing anything desctructive or misleading. If they're not getting anywhere for a while, then guide them towards the right direction. "Well, that probably has to do with printer... so where would you find the printer settings?" If it's clear they just don't have some some information you have, give it to them - but try not to phrase it as a direct solution or instruction. "Well here it'll probably help you to know that the type of a file is only a clue to what it might contain - a label on a closed box - and you can change it to anything you want but then it'll just stop working because the computer doesn't anymore know what to do with it.", "Great, you now got the wireless connection to work! But with default settings it's still insecure, because encryption has to be enabled separately." Also important: You can say something they are doing is not ok or won't work (in both cases, explain why), but never say whatever they are doing is stupid. Even when it is. Always assume what they are doing is based on insufficient information.

In essence, don't do it for them, rather make it a lesson in computer usage. It's probably very frustrating for them, but you're still helping them so it'll probably be too awkward for them to change the request to "just do it for me". This is because of the social distinction between asking someone for help (acceptable), and someone to do free work for you (not acceptable). But if they do ask, take a deep philosophical voice, and quote "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day - teach a man to fish feed them for a lifetime"...

Upsides:

  • They'll think twice before asking you to help again because they know what they'll have to go through.
  • You might gain some useful insight to normal computer usage patterns.
  • You learn to teach. It's a nice skill to have.
  • There's the off chance they might actually learn something too.

Downsides:

  • Takes a lot of time. Even to restore a single shortcut.
  • Not only frustrating for them - very frustrating for you too. :)
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I simply don't have enough patience for that. – Greg Dec 9 '10 at 19:41
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  1. You just have to be strict. Tell people that you don't fix friends computers. Your close friends / family can be told otherwise.

  2. I also tell people to think of me as an internet plumber. i.e. If you wouldn't ask me round to fix your toilet, then you shouldn't ask me round to fix your computer.

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is #2 is supposed to be about emergencies in general rather than specific skillsets in particular? – John Ferguson Oct 6 '09 at 21:33
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A mistake on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!

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"Normally I charge $X/hour, but because we're friends/family I'll do it for half price."

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I think you mean "double the price". – Paul Tomblin Aug 24 '09 at 15:05
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It depends on if you don't want to do it at all, or you just want to prevent it from taking over your life.

If you don't want to do it at all, start charging (like others have mentioned).

If you don't mind doing some when you have time (this is me)... I just don't answer the phone at 2:34am. I'll take on pretty much any project, but the user needs to deliver the computer to me, and I'll get to it when I get to it. If they're willing to drop it off and wait, I've got no problem fiddling with it during any spare time that I happen to have. I'll answer simple e-mail questions too. If they're complicated, you may just never get a response (same goes for voicemail, but probability of response on voicemail is MUCH lower than e-mail).

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Unfortunately I am the local IT guy... I can't say I mind too much as long as they give me some money, but I am to polite to ever ask, so they often give you loads more than what the job is even worth in the first place.

i.e. £20 for installing iLife '09... lol

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Someone said about charging for doing the job, but that implies that you're also tied to them because you must go back if you did something wrong or you did not solve the problem as expected.

Just an advice: become a jerk, tell them you're not going to touch anything whatever the money they pay you, they won't look as friendly as you can be, but you'll live better.

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I had this problem within my family.

I basically told them that when I have an issue with my laptop, I don't waste my time fixing it, because the time lost fixing my own hardware is more expensive than what I'd pay them.

I think I pissed off my aunt a little bit a that point, but it worked and now my brother always drops by to fix their hardware.

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Sometimes you can just say that it will take a long time. Paying work has priority =)

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Tell them to go to superuser.com

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Tell them your only options are "Retry, Reboot, RedHat".

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Try it once but do a terrible job. You'll never be asked to help again.

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No need to be so passive aggressive about it. See: "Don't be a Dick" – JamesBarnett Jan 17 '11 at 21:33
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My approach has been to help out from time to time and be vague and non-committal when people ask for favours I can't or don't want to give. If someone calls for phone support just tell them you're busy, and ask if you can call them back. Don't call them back, you forgot, you are very busy after all.

In the end you're doing people favours and if you don't want to you don't have to. It's rude for people to demand concessions from you and you can just say you don't have time. After a while people will find a more reliable resource if they're not happy with your "service".

Another approach is to set up a "business" and tell people who ask about it. Then you can set up fees and such and you can offer as much "free" time as you want, then start charging a fee if the work is going to be complicated or time consuming.

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Don't be passive-aggressive about it - if you're not willing to help, don't help, but don't just leave people hanging with some sort of ambivalent "forgot to call you back" thing. Say "no." If people are upset by that, they're going to be even more upset with you "forgetting" to call back. – Boofus McGoofus Jul 21 '09 at 22:23
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