Well, I don't know if you are ironic or what, but with that attitude, you will only create complete anarchy.
If I would come to a machine where I wouldn't even be able to use my own favourite applications if they are not installed, then a reset of the BIOS and reboot of a favourite OS would be the only reasonable.
I am currently trying to teach in the most locked environment I've ever seen, a so called IT-environment based upon Windows Vista (and only...) where the only way to run any course at all is due to portable apps. I wasn't even able to connect my own server, I can not put programs on the common area (.com .exe .bat not allowed...), I can not share my USB or home catalog.
The only way to distribute software is to carry around USB-memories, or let the students install the necessary software themselves. OK, it's not really "install" when it's about portable software.
A sysadmin that reasons like you, is an enemy to mankind.