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This is on Windows 7 x64 if that makes any difference.

This related question says to Disable Automatic Syncing in the Preferences, but that option is grayed out for me.

Is there a way to do this with iPad?

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Try the solution that works for the iPhone: Prevent iTunes from starting when iPhone is plugged in on Windows

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Killing iTunesHelper.exe worked. SCORE –  Chris Apr 26 '10 at 0:08

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