Requirements:
- A chipset that supports SATA AHCI & NCQ.
- A SATA drive that supports AHCI & NCQ.
- AHCI is enabled in BIOS.
- An OS installed while AHCI is enabled. Your system may not boot if it was installed in IDE emulation mode.
You can get NCQ by running your drives in AHCI mode. Windows XP requires special drivers to take advantage of AHCI mode, but Windows Vista and up have AHCI support built in. If you are runnning in IDE emulation mode then AHCI mode features are not enabled (which includes NCQ). You BIOS setup screen defines which mode the controller is running in and you should also be able to see it in Device Manager.
Unfortunately, I don't know of any program that will tell you specifically if NCQ is enabled or not.