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Can I add shortcuts in Microsoft Word like =lorem(12), =rand(34), etc? I'm not sure if these are somehow pulling from a stock VBA script (versus something Word-specific) or how to add more. The MS KB article about them doesn't go any deeper than just saying what they do.

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These are Word specific functions (aside from reference in the Word library in VBA from another Office application).

Word VBA does not have access any trappable event for after a user presses return or types a letter (a list of available events as of Word 2003 is here), so unless there is a way with advanced API calls, it is not possible to create your own.

If you don't need to accept an arguement, you can of course create custom AutoCorrect replacements.

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