I got a new HP laptop, went through and uninstalled all the default HP programs on there, and that caused the whole system to crash.
So I took a fresh Windows 7 Home Premium disc, and used it to first reformat the hard drive completely, and install everything fresh.
The trouble is... it is unbelievably SLOW. It was nowhere near this slow before I reinstalled. I've been going through and reinstalling drivers (of course), but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Any ideas?