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There have been several tutorials on how to do this, but none of them are for Windows...

I got the settings all correct, and /beep works, but there is no sound, and I can't find any way to get it to work...

Could anybody please help me?

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If you open a cmd window and type echo "^G" where you hit Ctrl-G when you open the quote, do you get a beep? – OldWolf Sep 5 '11 at 18:29
yeah, and /beep works in irssi, also... – thePalindrome Sep 5 '11 at 20:52

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