I want to share a single remote desktop with a locally logged on user (for pair programming with one person off-site). Can I do this with remote desktop on Windows XP ? (VNC is not an option here)

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Windows XP has a feature called Remote Assistance that does just that.

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This only works via MSN Live Chat. You invite someone to chat then from the menu you can make an "Assistance request" and then the user can see your desktop. – djangofan Oct 6 '09 at 21:09
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I don't believe Remote Desktop alone would allow this; it only allows exclusive access to the desktop. Would you be able to use something like Microsoft SharedView or NetMeeting? I've only used the latter before, but it seems to be deprecated.

There also seem to be some resources for remote pair programming here.

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No.

Better for pair programming is TeamViewer.

For this in XP is NetMeeting.

Successor of NetMeeting is Live Meeting.

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Use the Remote Desktop Sharing function via Netmeeting.

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You can use NetMeeting. It's also integrated in XP; it allows the other user to take control of the desktop you're sharing.

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I believe 'mstsc /console' allows you to RDP onto the local computer's session, but I may be wrong.

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-1, /console or /admin have no effect on XP, since you always RDP to the console session. As soon as the RDP connection is established, the local console becomes locked. Unlocking the console causes the RDP session to disconnect. – Graeme Donaldson Sep 7 '09 at 10:20
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