Is there an alternative window manager for OS X (…)?
It depends on what you define as window manager. If you mean the entire framework that draws the windows, then no. This has always been the Window Server in conjunction with Quartz. If you mean apps that enhance some of the window switching and layouting behavior, there are plenty of those, but none of them really replaces anything.
Have a look at the following projects or tools if you want to tweak the window behavior, mostly with respect to resizing automatically:
- xnomad, a keyboard based open-source tiling window manager
- Slate, based on xnomad
- Spectacle, keyboard-controlled window moving and resizing
- TylerWM, like Spectacle
- SizeUp, same as Spectacle, but costs something
- Cinch, Windows-like Aero Snap resizing
- BetterTouchTool, mostly for mouse and trackpad gestures, but has window snapping
- Optimal Layout, Mizage, Moom, Window Magnet, etc.
Can I move the "stoplight" icons from the left to the right on the titlebar of the window, and also make them a few pixels larger?
There is no way to move the buttons somewhere else, as this is hardwired into the operating system. You also can't make them larger.
The only possible "customization" in the title bar is removing window buttons entirely, showing a subset of them, or making them smaller (i.e. Inspector windows).
It's really bad engineering, in my opinion.
This is Mac OS X, not Windows, and not Linux. It is what it is—you'll just have to get used to it. Mac people will probably take a week or two to get used to the inverse when sitting on a PC. And others might leave their cursor resting on the left.
OS X offers you tons of shortcuts to close or minimize a window without needing the mouse. If you have your left hand available, all you need to do is press ⌘W to close the window, or ⌘M to minimize it.