I want to voice-chat to a friend over the Internet. (Video would be a nice bonus.) I want the conversation to be private and I do not trust Skype, Google, etc., so I want it encrypted end-to-end. We've already tried Jitsi via the jit.si server, but it works very poorly - usually fails to connect entirely, other times connects but drops out or one of us can't hear the other, etc.
What software can we use to talk directly, without a server? I've read that Jitsi can do this over IPv6, but cannot find any instructions on how to set it up.
I understand that there are other servers we can try, but without knowing which will work that can waste a lot of time. Instead I want to eliminate the server entirely. Both of us can run the same software, have direct Internet connections and can enter each other's IP addresses, so a server offers no benefit that I can see. We're both running Windows 7.