1 reputation

Tim Richards

I'm a renegade; I don't share the "let's keep everything a secret" mentality that pervades the "mind" of your average developer. FFS, they're the adult equivalent of kids in primary school who put their arms around their exercise books to stop the kid on the next desk from seeing their answers.

Share the love, I say; comment every bit of code so that everyone knows what it means.

Sorry if this is uncomfortable reading.

Read some of the crap they post here; "oooh you'll need a complicated SQL function to do that"......no I don't, I've just got a one line answer from someone on a grown-up forum elsewhere that works perfectly.

Even better was when I'd publically declared that I'd never used JavaScript before and needed some help; I got: "create a jsfiddle.net with the html representation of the asp".

And even better than that, if there could be any more gravy, was me asking what the hell the error message "adding the given count to the semaphore would cause it to exceed its maximum count" meant and being advised that "the error is because requests were happening whilst you were patching the dll and your data access functionality could not find the stored procedure so when you called it the run time generated an unhandled exception causing the SerializationException to fall over".

FFS, it's almost like these sorts are deliberately trying to be obtuse?

Having said that, I not a virgin, don't live at home with "mom", have a 50" waistline, watch endless episodes of Star Trek, get withdrawal symptoms if I don't use the words "stored procedure" in every other sentence, know the specs of all the graphics cards out there and play Crysis during every waking moment so I probably have difficulty relating to their modus operandum.

If you're reading this, are you in there? I'll bet my mortgage that you are.

Go and google what a mortgage is, lardboys. Clue: it means not living at home with "mom" and getting handjobs from her once a week.

What I DO know, however, is that these "developers" upload all of their code to Dropbox etc etc because their official line is "I don't trust the company I work for to back my stuff up properly". Erm, no, your company has an industry-standard procedure for backing up data and you're just backing it up to the cloud so that when you go and con some gullible future employer into believing that you've got substantially more than your 3mm of talent, you can simply download it all and con them again into believing that you've developed everything from scratch.

To finalise, I'm a fully rounded human being who doesn't enjoy regularly masturbating into socks whilst thinking of "mom" on the six nights of the week that she isn't massaging my member (I know you can all relate to that); I thank you for reading.

Keeping a low profile.

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