136 reputation
3
bio website buckeyecolo.com
location Washington Court House, OH
age 38
visits member for 3 years, 5 months
seen Feb 20 '12 at 16:30
<?php
/**
* PHP Script for agent-orange 
* Work Efficiency Ninja Agent 1.0 
*
* @author Glenn Kelley <glenn@typo3usa.comm>
*/

// Set environment:

$wifeStatus="snoring";
$childrenStatus="dreaming";
$workMode="extended";
initWeekAtWork($wifeStatus,$childrenStatus,$workMode);

// Initialize settings
ignore_friends_calling(1);
tapeAllEpisodesOfOutsourced-NBC(1);
enablePlaylistWithGreatMusic(1);

// Check conditions
checkPepsiInFridge();
checkSupplyOfGranolas();


$weekdays = explode(",", "monday,tuesday,wednesday,thursday,friday");
foreach ($weekdays as $day) {

// New work shift:
echo "Pray for patience, Glenn.";
if ($HTTP_GET_VARS["statement"]=="I'll do that later") {
   echo "Think again, your customers need you to be understanding and focused on their needs";
}

doProgramming(); 

// Check environment during evening
if (missWife()==true) 
   echo "You cannot wake her, she is sleeping.";
if (starsShiningAndMoonIsBright("low cloud cover")) 
   echo "No stargazing to much work to be done";

doProgramming(); 

// Require resources
$food = mysql_query("
 SELECT FROM refridgerator 
 WHERE eatable AND expiredate NOT < ".time()." 
 LIMIT 1");
 if (mysql_num_rows($food)) {
    consumeIt ("15 minutes max");
 else
    callPizzaDelivery("4: Margarita", "+gorgonzola");

 doProgramming(); 

 // Check physical body state
 payAttentionToHandsAndBack();
 if(handsHurtingDueToUseOfKeyboard()==true) {
    ignore(1);
 }


 // Checking overflow
 if (! willThisEverEnd("?")){
 if (maxExecutionTimeNotSet()) 
    die("Fatal error: Could not complete your request until the customer is satisfied and work is completed.");
 }

 // Set clockradio 9 hours from current time
 sleep(60*60*9);


} // end day 
// I haven't implemented this function yet. 
// It should fit in somewhere above, but I couldn't find time to do it.
// Maybe thats the key to the solution?



/*
* If you have any comments, find any bugs 
* or have suggestions to changes, please email me
* call 740-490-8668 
* or twitter @chuchmedic 
*/
?>

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